How I overcome Fear

Posted 7:22 PM by Mezhal Ulao in Labels:
Note: Picture from the Heroes tv series. This series can best depict the message of facing what we fear the most and why we fear them in the first place. There are a lot things that come into people's minds when the word fear is mentioned. The general thing is to think about the common phobia's such as the fear of heights, spiders and public speaking. A lot of money has been spent on therapy and medication to over come all of these challenges because it interferes with their daily lives. The constant search for the source of these fears have lead to many places looking for a way out, looking for the source, in order for them to conquer it. What a lot of people don't know about fear is that there is one single cause - PAIN.

I have my own share of fears and any normal person is definitely going to experience this. It creeps up when we least expect it in situations that where we find ourselves acting in a way that is irrational if not silly. Research would tell you how all these things are deeply seated in the brain. That our life experiences can cause triggers and defense mechanisms to form in our gray matter to help us cope or save us from a threatening situation. In short fear is a product of a traumatic experience that brought us discomfort and pain. Eventually it stores this data upon the experience and records the actual event using all of our senses. Thus the imprint from sight, sound, smell and touch including the event and people becomes associated with the feeling of pain. Just like when one touches a hot kettle for the first time and gets burnt, that same experience causes us to be wary of kettles and look for signs that may bring about the same feeling of pain. To some it because of the severity tend to stay away from the kitchen in fear of getting burned. That is the mechanics of fear and how it forms. Slice it and dice it anyway you want but the truth of the matter is anything that causes extreme pain will etch this within your psyche and unfortunately cause you to react irrationally.

The root of all fears is that what one really is afraid of is getting hurt, not just physically but emotionally. Physical pain heals pretty quickly but when emotions are involved that becomes a different matter as there is no wound that can be patched automatically. Instead one has to forcefully deal with the internal damage and tinker with your own mind. Learning to come to terms with the situation and accepting events as something that happened and to learn from it is just the first step to its healing. The next step is to find yourself within the triggers that invoke these feelings of pain and hurt and prove to yourself that it isnt going to happen the same way it did in the past. This is where we force logic into your brain and show it that it doesnt need to be defensive and that things can get better. Only problem now is to actually get the courage to do it. Be it a fear of heights to a string of bad relationships, all this has to be faced and addressed. You have to learn to look back and ask yourself why are you afraid in the first place and see what happened and what things were there in that event.

It's hard to deal with when the wound is in the mind, but it isnt impossible. The risk is that if you put yourself in a situation to deal with it and the same thing happens again you may risk reinforcing your fear and maybe there should be reason to. That reason is that you need to learn something from it otherwise be enslaved by it.

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